FROM AFAR: LOVE IN THE INBOX -9
"We try to cherish the memories because we cannot be certain if there would be more of the same."
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From: Jas <jasmin_ray@hotmail.com ray
To: <ray_jasmin@hotmail.com> Save Address Block Address
Subject: Deep Thoughts on a Sunday Afternoon
Date: Monday Feb 08, 1999 19:25:32 PSTFeb 08/99 7 pm
Dearest Ray,
Your letter the other day made me chuckle. Why, I’m so lucky I got the guy. Haha! The stars took pity on me and said, “Sige na nga,1 we’ll send someone your way.” I snagged Mr. Right even when I’m a single mom with three kids.”
It goes to show, sometimes life is full of surprises. I never believed I wasn’t worthy of being happy, but an ex did tell me in a bitter argument that, “No one will ever like you. You’ve got too much baggage with you.” To tell you the truth, that hurt. No more shortchanging myself.
Well, after all the studying I did on the weekend, and I was alone at home, I thought I’d send you “a penny courtesy of my thoughts.” It may sound a tad corny, but bear with me.
Why is it, Ray, it's as if a bubble has burst now that you’re in my life? It isn’t certainly right, because you are there, and I am here. But something deep within me says it’s also just a matter of time.
Now I have this chance, to write apt love letters to someone I love. I have never really written a love letter and I find it uncannily eerie to be writing one now when I must admit, I am hovering between youth and midlife.
You were asking me if I started writing again? I really don’t have the time. I did it for a few years and worked my ass writing, for TV shows and magazines and even a syndicated publication, but they really make you sweat a bucket to come up with a very good story.
But there is something I have been wanting to tell you: I want to treat this relationship differently. I want to make it work because if it doesn’t, my poor heart may not recover. However, I am also grateful for having met you at a time when I was almost certain I’d remain loveless for the longest while.
You were asking me if I knew you were about to kiss me when we were in Tagaytay. Was it the cool lake breezes that left you wanting to do so? I felt the pull for a moment, but I wasn’t expecting anything.
If we hadn’t stayed overnight in Tagaytay, would you have told me you liked me? I’m not one to keep someone dangling or hoping. If I don’t like you, I would rightly say so.
I would like to believe our relationship is not founded solely on physical attraction, though it can’t be denied that the appeal was there. I wasn’t really surprised because I’ve seen your blown-up picture on Trina’s computer. I was amazed at how attuned we were to each other from the start. You are beautiful inside and out, but it’s not everything.
What is it that you love most, Ray? What is that all-consuming thing that you want so much that it hurts just thinking about it?
PS. Just a thought that occurred from watching a rom com on HBO over the weekend. “Ultimately, we only have the memories in our minds, the pictures of what made us happy at a certain moment. We try to cherish the memories because we cannot be certain if there would be more of the same.”
Jas
get your private, free email at http:/www.hotmail.com. 1996-98 HOTMAIL. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
From: ray<ray_jasmin@hotmail.com> Save Address Block Address
To: Jas <jasmin_ray@hotmail.com
Subject: Finally
Date: Wed, Feb 10 1999 22:14:00 PST11:47 pm Wed. Feb 10/99
Dearest Jas,
Your thoughts, “We try to cherish the memories because we cannot be certain if there would be more of the same,” is a bit ambiguous. What exactly does that mean? Are you still feeling uncertain? Must be the effect of watching too many of those baduy love story movies.
In answer to your question about me liking you whether we went to Tagaytay or not, I still would have liked you. I liked you from the day we met at Tia Maria2. Didn’t I tell you when I handed the bangle to you at Taal Vista? How soon can you forget?
Remember on our first date, I kissed you goodnight on the cheek after you dropped me off at Trina’s place? I would have said I liked you but you were in such a hurry to get home.
So here’s the deal, I hope you are sitting. There are no more surprises from hereon.
I guess this will rid you of all your uncertainties. The uncontested divorce settlement has been filed by the lawyer, and it's up to the judge when to finalize the proceedings.
After all, Jas! I’m free at last. I can now go on with my life without a glitch.
Jas, will you marry me? Would you like to spend the rest of your life with me? I know there are many hurdles for us to overcome but I’m not too worried about it. I’m certain we will be together soon. How about you, Jas?
I’ll tell you more when I call you on Sunday. I love you. Goodnight.
Ray
get your private, free email at http:/www.hotmail.com. 1996-98 HOTMAIL. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Sige na nga - ok fine
Tia Maria - was a Mexican bar and restaurant along Makati Avenue, Makati, Metro Manila area. There are other branches but the Makati Ave branch was iconic and well-known.